Friday, August 22, 2008

A Message from the Author

WHO THE FUCK COMMENTED SPACE BEARS ON THAT THREAD! I'LL HUNT YOU FAGGOTS DOWN FOR TAKIN MY COPYRIGHT!

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Some History for Ya

The attack on New York was only the first. It was followed by invasions of equal if not greater magnitude of every major city in the world. Virtually 75% of the human population was decimated outright. The the horrible things that resulted killed off another 15%. Shortages of food, pollution of water supplies, and lets not forget the roaming death squads. Three bears to a squad, these remorseless killing machines hunted the ruins and outskirts of every city searching for survivors who would be executed immediately. The remaining 10% of humans were forced to hide in underground fortresses constructed in the 60s by paranoid scientists and government officials fearing nuclear disasters throughout the world. Through many suicide missions, the humans managed to link up every one of these bases through private channels. They have now become the only haven for humans against the terrifying threat of the space bears. Unfortunately, the space monsters soon discovered these havens and began to infiltrate and systematically destroy them all. Now only six still remain.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Meet the Commander

Commander Pub sat in his chair at the head of the conference table listening to the morning briefing. It hardly interested him anymore seeing as it was all the same shit. Supplies are low. Morale is down. The Bastards seem to get stronger every day. "Can we just end this early?" Pub interrupted the droning analyst. "We've had the same fucking report for the last 3 fucking weeks! I'm tired of this!"

"But sir, it's standard pro-

"BULLSHIT IT IS! You know as well as I do that if we don't put our plan into action soon we'll lose our chance!" Pub was talking about a discovery that a scout had made a year earlier. Every year on December 21, the bears defensive shields enhance in power in preparation for the arrival of new troops for approximately one month. However, when the power is routed to their main shields, they leave their underside fairly vulnerable. The scout had discovered that the bears main fortress could be accessed through the ruins on New York City's sewer system.

"But sir, we don't even know if that route is still accessible."

"Well theres only one way to find out. This meeting is adjourned. The attack will be in two weeks. I advise you prepare yourselves."

Monday, August 18, 2008

Shits and Giggles

Let's start from the beginning. On December 14, 2012, NASA space satellites picked up what seemed to be a moderate sized asteroid heading on a collision course for earth. Obviously, they panicked and resorted to some...unorthodox methods to try and change its trajectory. When missiles didn't work, they shot lasers. When lasers didn't work, they sent ships...with men in them. Good men. Brave men. Dead men. When nothing worked, they panicked again. It was broadcast throughout the world that the planet would be decimated by this asteroid. Well, a week later, this asteroid entered the atmosphere. People watched as this asteroid slowly but surely made its way to destroy our insignificant planet. They watched. Why would anyone want to watch? Anyway, the asteroid keeps coming but it stops right before colliding with New York City, and it just floats there. And then, the realization sets in. This was not an asteroid. It was a goddamned space ship. So, everyone is looking in awe at this massive ship as shiny metal rods start slowly extend out of this ship. And wouldn't you know it when lightning, fucking lightning, starts shooting out of these rods, engulfing good ol' NYC in the biggest electrical storm the world had ever seen.


Whatever that thing was...It destroyed New York City...just for shits and giggles.
The Mayan calendar depicts that the world will end on December 21, 2012. On that day, the world did not end, but a dark new chapter in its history was spawned. We were overrun. There was nothing we could do. Nothing. They were smarter, stronger, and better equipped. No one could have forseen it. And no one could stop it. The world is theirs now...we're just living in it.